Eurydice (eurydice72) wrote,

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What am I passing on to my children?

My daughter got home from nursery a little bit ago. She was fine until she stepped into the kitchen, at which point she burst into tears. Scooping her up into a hug, I set her up on the counter and asked her what's wrong. Through her tears, she said her toe hurt, so I look down and notice that her shoes are on the wrong feet. Well, those came right off.

Craig claims they were on the right feet when they left this morning (he did shoes this morning) so I asked when she took her shoes off at nursery. Turns out they got taken off before lunch for some game, and then got put back on after they ate (which sounds right, I've seen this happen). She said they'd been hurting her all afternoon, but when I asked why she didn't say something to one of the girls at nursery, she said (all this through tears) that she didn't want to bother them by saying anything.

Which is an argument I use all the time in justifying my own discomfort in various situations.

This is the last thing I wanted to teach my child. It's taken me 30 years to start reaching a point where I can start asserting my own needs. I understand why I do it, but I can't fathom anything that would spontaneously spur such rationale in my daughter other than witnessing Mommy do it. And that just tears me up.

And it's all just one more reason why I have to get my own shit under control so that I don't pass any more of my neuroses onto my kids.

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