I just feel like such a stupid novice, like I'm completely out of my league and am fooling nobody about my inadequacies. This is not a new feeling. This is the way my head has been for as long as I can remember. This is how I start to spiral down, though I'm much better about not staying in those pits for long. I would love not to go into them at all, but that's not something I've yet managed to master. Especially when I have such recent, very valid examples of my uselessness at hand.
I have to work tomorrow, then go serve dinner to the marching band. It means being happy and smiley and social when I just want to crawl into a corner and forget the world exists. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to manage it.