Eurydice (eurydice72) wrote,
Eurydice
eurydice72

First week of rehearsals for the play are over. We got all the blocking done (the actors' movements in a show). Definite highs and lows. I felt super empowered the second night, not so bad last night, but tonight...well, I'm barely not crying and that's mostly because I'm focusing on writing this post since I haven't done it all week. There was not one, not two, but three separate incidents where I either looked like a complete amateur or got questioned (and subsequently voted down by my co-director) on my choices. I'm currently at a point where I want nothing to do with any of this, so it's very good that we don't have rehearsal again until Monday.

I just feel like such a stupid novice, like I'm completely out of my league and am fooling nobody about my inadequacies. This is not a new feeling. This is the way my head has been for as long as I can remember. This is how I start to spiral down, though I'm much better about not staying in those pits for long. I would love not to go into them at all, but that's not something I've yet managed to master. Especially when I have such recent, very valid examples of my uselessness at hand.

I have to work tomorrow, then go serve dinner to the marching band. It means being happy and smiley and social when I just want to crawl into a corner and forget the world exists. I have no idea if I'm going to be able to manage it.
Subscribe

  • I hate slow shipping

    I'm annoyed. I ordered the new Thug Kitchen book to be delivered today, and as of 10:30pm, it's still not here. It's just a cookbook, and it's not…

  • (no subject)

    My entire life is catch-up mode. I'm behind on writing, on cleaning, on laundry, on coding, on watching the TV shows from when I was in St. Louis.…

  • (no subject)

    You know, sometimes I really miss the insular corner of fandom I lived in, the one where all I did was write and read fic and deliberately stayed…

  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 5 comments