Eurydice (eurydice72) wrote,

Teenage hormones

Yesterday, I got to go to a couples bachelor/bachelorette party, albeit without Craig. Championships for winter guard were yesterday, and we agreed he'd take the kids while I made an appearance at the get-together. It was a two-hour boat cruise with dinner and dancing afterward, and though a ton of alcohol was flowing, I wasn't drinking anything but tea and water since I had to get myself home when all was said and done. The couple getting married are friends of ours through the kids and Band Boosters, but basically I didn't know 95% of the people there. Socializing, especially on my own and amongst strangers, is neither my favorite thing to do nor my strong suit, but it wasn't too bad in the end.

One thing pissed me off, though, and it's pissing me off--mostly because I didn't say anything at the time--more as time progresses. Here's the backstory:

The bride-to-be's son is the same age as Alicia and our exchange student. A really lovely kid. Very well-mannered and mature for his age. L, our exchange student, has been crazy about him since last September, but he made it very clear to her he didn't want them to pursue a romantic relationship because she was leaving at the end of the school year and he didn't think it was fair for either of them to end up being hurt by the distance then. I thought it was a very mature decision on his part--especially because a) he was coming off a bad break-up, and b) when he's in a relationship (whether it's romantic or platonic), he's the kind of person who gives 110%. For the most part, that's the way it has been, except for an incident back before Thanksgiving. L and the son were hanging out, which led to some kissing. When L was ready to come home, the son told her it was a huge mistake and they had to go back to being just being friends. She was extremely hurt by it, and was pretty depressed about the way he got her hopes up for a few hours. They were back to being friends by Christmas, but it was pretty rough for her several weeks.

So yesterday, I spent a lot of time explaining to people how I knew the couple. At one point, we were talking about L, and the bride made a comment about how she's surprised L never got a boyfriend while she's been here. My response was that L has been hung up on the son all year and joked, "Remember the kissing?" Bride made a comment that son said L started it all, to which I replied, "Well, (son) knew exactly how L felt about him. He should've stopped it."

That's the point the groom jumped in. He and another man started laughing and said to me, "Of course he didn't stop it. He's a sixteen-year-old boy."

And it's this response that has aggravated me so much since. It's the reason I begged off the dancing after dinner because I was too annoyed with everyone. Their response excuses the son's behavior and puts the complete responsibility of it all on the girl, which is exactly the kind of mentality that leads to boys growing into men who never truly understand how to own responsibility in a sexual or romantic relationship. Where exactly are they going to draw the line? Would they be so glib about his behavior if they'd become sexual and she got pregnant? I doubt it, but somehow, it's okay when it's kissing. Um, no, it's not, because that's how lines get blurred. They were *both* responsible for what happened, so don't try shrugging it off as male hormones. That doesn't fly with me, and it shouldn't fly with them, either.

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