I think part of it is general anger and distaste with my body right now. The hardest part about losing weight when you've been heavy your entire life is all the loose skin, and for me, it's hit hardest on my thighs. They look terrible, and it's increasingly hard for me to not fixate on how awful they look. I know losing weight is better for me--my joints and my general health need it--but seriously, it sucks that it looks so bad as a result. It's not helped that the cysts that have plagued all the women in my family hit me worst on my thighs, too.
My fear and anxiety about dipping my toes back into Spuffy fiction isn't helping, either.