It's frustrating. Because I know exactly why I'm doing it, and I simply can't bring myself to care. I need to figure out how to get back on the ball before I do too much damage.
It doesn't help that I got in a fight with a good friend today. She's one of those people who can't say no, and she agreed to do something that will a) drive her crazy, b) make her house physically impossible to live in, c) piss off her husband which will in turn make everybody in her house cranky and argumentative, and d) invite disaster because of lack of physical space. I was literally speechless when she told me, but she pushed and I ended up telling her she was pretty much an idiot for inviting this kind of chaos into her life and asking permission to not be around it when it all hits the fan. Which made her snipe back that I wasn't a good friend for not being there to help or bail her out when she inevitably needed it. I'm sorry, but I bail her out of problems caused by this very same issue all the time, and this one is going to be all those previous problems x 10. Why should I let her walk all over me just because she's the one who can't say no to people? I have enough chaos in my life. I don't need hers, too.