Today has been a little better, though my head and chest hurt from the congestion/coughing. I will be definitely taking it easy until I'm feeling fully myself.
I do wonder if not being 100% affected how I saw Merlin today...
I was unspoiled for this episode, outside of what we saw in the trailer last week. I've also never been a big Lancelot fan, mostly for a lot of the same problems I had with the Buffy-version of Angel. Noble characters that make decisions for other characters without giving them a say in the matter always piss me off, especially if it's done out of so-called love.
I'm still trying to process how it makes me feel. I'm angry, more than anything else, because of Arthur's trust issues taking such a huge hit yet again. Yes, I'm an Arthur fan, first and foremost. That's not to say I don't love Merlin and Gwen and other characters, but it's his gut feelings that are my emotional anchor to the show. And I'm furious that Gwen is being punished for something that was essentially not her fault. I love how they played on the legends, don't get me wrong there. And it all makes perfect sense for the characters as they're being played. But Arthur has already had so many lies and betrayals done to him/thrown at him, I did not need to see it happen again.
The performances were stellar, and I loved the way the Arthur/Gwen scene was played, the choices that were made by both actors. I'm also glad she wasn't wearing the bracelet, so at least we the audience know she wasn't enchanted when she said all those things.
One thing I don't understand, though. Comments from M/A fans about wanting the reveal to happen have been around a long time. I don't get why they think a reveal will be a good thing. Because they expect Merlin to be exempt from Arthur's mistrust/disappointment when he finds out? I just don't see that happening. Nobody's been exempt. Only Uther got a pass, and that's because he basically went crazy when the truth came out (about Morgana, I think if the truth had ever come out about Ygraine, Arthur would have totally carried through like he did at the end of Sins of the Father).
I dunno. I'm still processing. It's doubly hard because I already feel such a disconnect with the fandom anyway. It's another case of the outsider peering in. It's those moments I wonder about disconnecting completely from the online world. It sounds so good in theory. It's just the reality of it that makes me stop.