Eurydice (eurydice72) wrote,

Getting to Know You - Day 3

Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail

This one's hard for me. I have...very different relationships with my parents, and in one case, not pleasant.

My parents met when my mom was 18 or 19 (I've never been sure, and this is not something I would ask), and he was a couple years older. My mom was a party girl who ended up flunking out her first year of college. She had a very fractious relationship with my grandmother, stemming from the loss of my grandfather. See, he died when my mom was 16. He was the love of my grandmother's life, and my mom was Daddy's little girl. Though he died of a heart attack, both Mom and Grandma blamed the other for his loss in their lives. And my mom acted out as a result.

Grandma hated my dad. From the start. Which only made him more appealing to Mom. They were married when she was 20, and over the course of the next five years, she had four children with him.

He was never faithful. I remember him taking me to his girlfriend's house a lot before my parents divorced. He never pretended she was anything else. Then, after the divorce, he married her. They're still married to this day, and he has two children with her. I don't know them. I met them once when the boy was 11 or so and the girl was 2. They've never expressed any desire to meet me, and though I'm curious, I've left it alone. The reason for this is because honestly, my father made a choice. He left my mom, and with the exception of a couple cursory visits over the first three years (during which time, I am the only one he saw, and always away from home), he had nothing to do with us. Including refusing to pay child support even though it was court ordered.

My mom, meanwhile, was working her fingers to the bone to try and support us. She usually worked at least two jobs at a time, though there were plenty of years it was three. She had little to no social life, and then in high school, decided to go back to school to get her nursing degree because she was tired of being an aide. She is the hardest worker I have ever known, the most stubborn woman, and the most impossible person to shop for. She was a reader and avid gamer. When Atari came out, it went in her room, not because she wanted to regulate our use but because she wanted to play it whenever she wanted. She still plays video games like they're going out of style. She's always been a heavy smoker, and is probably the biggest reason she's skinny as a rail because she eats crap (meaning very few vegetables and lots of sugar). Until two years ago, she was legally blind in one eye, which meant glasses her whole life, but she had the laser surgery and knows sees perfectly. Ironically, she still has to wear some form of glasses because she says it feels too weird not to have something on, lol.

I can't share those kind of specific details about my dad. I don't know them. When I was 22, I tried to get to know him as an adult (that was when I met the half-sibs), but the one thing I got from that encounter? Him telling me, "The biggest mistake I ever made was marrying your mother. If I had to go back and do it over again, I never would have done it or had you kids." Not exactly conducive to building a relationship. I can tell you that he's a writer, and that he's been writing/published since he was in his twenties. He did westerns, but has since branched out to sports writing.

But honestly, if you were to ask me if I felt I knew my parents, I'd have to say no. There are valid reasons I don't know my dad, but my mom...she's not easy. She keeps her emotions bottled up, and hates being a burden to anyone. She professes needing nothing, and prides herself for a job well done. She was never demonstrative, yet I know and believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that she would have done - and would still do - anything she could for me and my sisters. People like her because she's always smiling. Today, she lives with my youngest sister - something she's done for the last 18 years - though there's a possibility that will change next spring when my niece graduates from high school.

The meme's days:

Day 01 – Introduction
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail
Tags: getting to know you, meme

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