That being said, it's time for me to get back with my life. The kids' schedule is so out of whack, it isn't even funny. They had exactly 3 meals cooked at home in the 5 days I was in LA, and Alex's potty training has taken about six steps backward. Not that it was great before, but now it downright sucks. It's time to reassert my mommy rights.
Like last night.
Alex didn't want to get ready for bed. I was arguing with him about getting changed into a dry diaper and his pj's and he was fighting me every step of the way. I finally got him to lie down long enough for me to change him, though, telling him his nappy was too squidgy for sleeping in.
ALEX: (Once he's naked): I'm squidgy!
ME: Not any more. You don't have a nappy on.
ALEX: (Grabbing his penis and testicles and squeezing so hard that I'm convinced it's got to hurt, his voice insistent): I'm squidgy!!!
ME: (Trying desperately not to smile because he's actually right about this, this time): Fine, you're squidgy. (When he won't move his hands away for me to get his nappy on to him) You know, you keep that up and you're going to break it.
ALEX: (With a huge grin on his face) POP!
psubrat and I lost it at that point. I had to finish getting him dressed with head bent because I didn't want him to see how hard I was laughing.