January 5th, 2019

mood - this sucks: sandy_s

A useless day

Today did not go as planned. I woke up at 8am with one of my killer headaches, the ones I get when I've slept wonky on my neck. It's been months since I've had one, not since I've switched to permanently sleeping with a wedge and the special side-sleeping pillow I bought last fall. But I must've slid down it in the night at some point, which put my head at a higher angle than it should've been, which meant I was almost blind from the pain when I woke up and dry heaving for five minutes because of the nausea the headaches create. I used to think these were migraines, but realized that no, they only ever happened when I woke up and always when something was funky with my pillow situation. I was getting them a lot more often when I was trying to come up with a solution to help my shoulder pain and throat issues. My wedge and new pillow pretty much eradicated them.

Anyway, the heaving always wipes me out, so once I got some painkillers, I laid down perfectly flat on my bed for a few more hours until I could get up without wanting to vomit. The dull throbbing lingered until almost 5pm, which meant I just futzed around online and watched TV because I was pretty much useless for anything else. It's starting to creep back, so I've opted to sleep on the recliner tonight instead of my bed. It keeps me from contorting my neck weird until my head feels normal again.

Oh, plus? I get to deal with the cosmetic effect from the heaves for at least a week before my skin heals again. The swelling should be gone by Monday, but while I only managed to burst a couple blood vessels in my right eye, my face is splotchy all over:
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I know it's vain to hate it, but I do. The petechiae is completely harmless and looks a lot worse than it is, but going out in public with it means dealing with a lot of awkward conversations unless I wear a ton of make-up to cover it up. Which I'm not fond of. Plus, apparently I looked so bad today that Alex came up to me out of the blue and said, "Do you want a hug?" When I asked him why he was offering, he shrugged and replied, "You just look like you could use one."

He's such a good kid.