August 11th, 2003

eurydice james: pepperlandgirl4

Numbered days

1. 3 more days until Craig gets home! Woo hoo! Talked to him for an hour and a half yesterday on the phone, plus got to see him on the Webcam. I'm annoyed because mine keeps crashing my machine, but Craig says he'll fix that when he gets home. Still, it was so good to see him; Thursday can't come quick enough.

2. 2nd day of determination to make the changes in my life to feel better for myself. Resolve was helped tremendously yesterday when I went to Starbucks and they tell me they're out of coffee (?!?), so I can't do my monthly indulge with my mocha frappuccino. Plus, Alicia got horrifically sick while we were at Nana and Grandad's so having to clean up her vomit (which is really an awful word but I hate the alternatives even more) is great for not wanting to eat some of the stuff MIL offered.

3. 17 days until DragonCon and Atlanta. A week with Lori, oodles of opportunities to see people I'm dying to see, and James. Need I say more?

4. 1 more day until any new chapters get posted. Since I spent a good part of yesterday gone/tending my daughter/too tired to do anything but stare blankly at my computer, absolutely no writing got done. So, I'll write the next chapter of Voices tonight and get that sent off to Lori so she can have it beta'd and done for me for posting tomorrow. Just so you know. Then, Rook will probably be on Wednesday.

Thank you to everyone who vocalized their support yesterday. It's amazing because I've come to take so many things for granted, and my feelings about the whole pretty thing are one of them. It always surprises the hell out of me when I discover I'm not a freak after all. Or at least I'm not alone in a world of freaks. :)
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eurydice james: pepperlandgirl4

Adult onset phobias

Maybe not a phobia. But an irrational dislike as I'm not afraid, just get extremely nervous.

Thunder. Stupid thunder. Thunder can't hurt me.

And it never used to bug me. Not until I was 20 and woke up from nightmares in the middle of one of the worst thunderstorms I've ever been in.

Ever since, hearing thunder makes my skin crawl. I used to have panic attacks for the first few years after that incident, but it has since appeased to just a sense of dread and a sinking of my stomach. I woke up this morning at 4am to it, it went away, and I was able to start my day in peace. The sun even poked its head out.

Now, it's back.

Stupid thunder.
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