I woke up feeling better this morning so I went to Safeway to get some groceries after dropping off the kids at nursery. There's a Starbucks there, so I decided to treat myself for feeling so crappy lately. It's fairly popular; the Safeway is smack dab in the middle of a lot of businesses so a lot of professional people come in and out just for the coffee. The line is always long, as a result.
So, I'm standing in a line of about 8 people. I'm just going to get a small mocha lite frap and do my shopping. And this guy behind me reaches past me for one of the wrapped pastries on the counter and inadvertently tips over two or three onto me. He apologizes profusely while he rearranges the mess he's made, but when it's all over, he just starts talking to me. And I talked back because it's polite, and he looks reasonably nice. In the end, our drinks end up coming out at the same time, so he keeps it up even after I go and fetch a cart to start shopping.
No big deal, right? Except I run into him again when I go for milk because someone has just slipped on something right in front of the coolers and he warns me about it because nobody has put up a sign yet. But this time, he doesn't walk away when I do. I figured it was just because we were talking, because he started asking about the baking supplies in my trolley (I'm doing German Chocolate Brownies for poker day this week). And like I said, he wasn't creepy in the slightest. He was dressed like most of the professional guys who come into Safeway---button-down shirt with a tie and slacks---and he was kinda cute and probably about my age. So, we talked for a bit, and I didn't think anything of it until two aisles over and he's still hanging around. He even reached to get my sodas for me because the two-liter bottles are on the highest shelf, and I would've had to ask for help to get them. He started talking about some work function or something like that, and I made an oblique reference to "my husband" at which point his entire attitude changed. He was still polite and all, but within a minute, he was gone. And I had no clue he was even chatting me up for most of the time. How dumb am I?
Of course, it's not quite as embarrassing as getting hit on the Velvet Chain guy at Oakland and not realizing it all during the time. It wasn't until I was relating the events of meeting him to psubrat in our hotel room later that night that I kind of stopped in the middle of the story, and went, "Oh my god, he was hitting on me, wasn't he?" She was laughing "yeah," mainly because I guess it was *incredibly* obvious to anyone who wasn't me.
But see, the thing of it is, I am not someone who gets that kind of attention. There's nothing special about me; I have no delusions about the way I look. I'm the smart one, not the pretty one. It's always been that way. With the exception of maybe 2 people, every guy I ever dated was a friend first, and relationships sprang out of the friendship. Because I was always the "buddy." I was a late bloomer; I only had 1 date in high school, and that was less than spectacular. I didn't really start developing a social life (as pathetic as it was) until I was in college. My best friends were always guys. My best friend is *still* a guy (OK, it's Craig, but you see where I'm going here). If I go out with female friends, I'm invariably the one who stands back and watches *them* get the attention.
It just weirds me out. Because I have no idea how to process this. Like I said, I think I lack the genes that are necessary to take this kind of thing in stride or to turn it around into a positive.
I got no fic writing done yesterday; I just couldn't concentrate enough to work on prose. I ended up dragging out my screenplay and working on that instead. However, I'm hoping to get back to the Frost chapter today so that it can get up tomorrow night. I'm feeling better and as long as I don't push myself too hard, I should be OK for it.