Eurydice (eurydice72) wrote,

Why I've been gone

I haven't been on LJ for over a week because it's been a very tumultuous, painful ten days. Our 15 y/o Boston Terrier Lucy stopped eating the weekend before last. We weren't sure what was going on because she seemed fine otherwise, so on Tuesday, we took her to the vet. There, we discovered she had fluid in her lungs. After doing bloodwork, the vets decided it was probably caused by pneumonia rather than congestive heart failure. We were prescribed two antibiotics and two heart meds to help strengthen her heart, with a directive to come back on Thursday to have her checked out.

Wednesday was better. We got her to eat, she was perky, and all seemed better.

Thursday morning, her breathing was rough. Her appointment at the vet wasn't scheduled until 3:40pm, but we thought maybe she just needed her meds to help even things out again since she'd none of the breathing stuff the day before. I had to go to work at 9, and both of the kids had classes, so Craig sat with her to keep an eye on her. I got texts at noon saying they were afraid for her, so I wrapped things up and went home, with the intention we were going to the ER. As soon as I pulled into the driveway, Alicia texted me that Lucy was back to normal again. She was sound asleep, snoring away like nothing was wrong, so we decided to wait until 3:40.

Then, right before we had to leave, the rough breathing started again. We went to the vet and almost immediately got sent to the ER where they could put her in an oxygen chamber. She stayed overnight, and when we went to bed, we were actually encouraged by the doctor's reports. She was improving rapidly, and the doctor thought we'd be able to come get her in the morning. The overnight doctor called me at 2:25am with a very different report. Her kidney functions had reacted poorly to the drug they were using to clear her lungs, and she still wasn't breathing comfortably in room air. After twenty minutes, I authorized them to keep trying, because honestly, breathing was more important. I couldn't go back to sleep after that.

The morning update said she'd responded well and we were welcome to come in and see if we were comfortable taking her home. We were. At home, we got her to eat, her breathing was just fine, and she was acting mostly normal. This kept up all the way until Saturday evening.

That's when the gasping started. Right away, we knew it was different. Her sides were heaving harder than ever before, and she was shivering. I asked Craig to call the ER (since our vet wasn't open), and we took her in. Alicia went with us, because both she and I were terrified this was it.

We were right. Lucy was only inside for a few minutes before the doctor called us and said her lungs were worse than when she'd been brought in before. It was going to be a vicious cycle, with no real cure, so we had a difficult decision to make. We did the only thing we could, even though it hurt so badly. But at least we got to be with her in the end, and we got two good days where we could pamper and coddle and love her.

It's been rough without her. The house is just so damn quiet. Lucy was a small dog, and she didn't bark, but if she was sleeping, she was snoring. And if she was up, then she was jingling from her tags on her collar. Our Lucy music. And it's all gone. I know we did the right thing. She would've been suffering otherwise. But I'm going to miss my sweet, quirky, lovely Lucy so much.

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